Limits

It's funny how having someone in your life could be one of the best things and the worst things at the same time. As someone who came to accept the fact that they were indeed a bonafide single who could never land themself a lad, I find accomodating my life to fit someone else in it interesting...sometimes in a bad way and sometimes in an exciting way. Prior to any experience with the other sex, I was always told that being in a relationship meant time and commitment to make things work. But now I'm asking, how far should you work at things and commit before you realize it can't be worked at anymore?

We all go into relationships with expectations and hopes for something that might actually be real. Sure, real can be scary but isn't that what dating is all about? Trying to find that real connection? Anyhow, no one can meet our mold 100% but how far of a deviation from the ideal should we accept? There should be a statistical manual out there that allows you to calculate acceptable standard deviations from the mean in order to sum up if the lad is really worth it or not. Granted, boys can't be equated into a number, but wouldn't that make things so much easier? For instance, let's say my mean is 100 (a bloke who has good manners, stable career, good family, and is willing to put up with this -ME), but I will accept deviations of up to 20. On the lower end an 80 (bloke who I don't have to support, is willing to put up with my tantrums, and has siblings who will not bother me or none at all) or the upper end, which all us girls would prefer Mr. 120 (aka Prince Charming). It's just sad Prince Charming doesn't exactly come around knocking on every female's door, sure would bring a new meaning to "falling right into your lap" now wouldn't it?

In a relationship there are more than 2 people. I don't know why no one ever told me that before. Everyone should really come with a warning sign. *Warning: I have baggage; a nagging mother, a crazy father and household full of siblings* Now this warning is of course a combination of my should be warning sign and my "friend's". I still don't use the word boyfriend, it's so strange to me. Our lives emcompass not only the person we're currently in a relationship with but our family and friends. Birds of a feather flock together - but how alike are these birds? Can one bird not stray away from the other? It is important to get along with not only the person you're with but also the people in their lives. However, what if they aren't the type of people you thought they'd be or not what you prefer? How many points do we take off for that? 80 starts to look like a really high number now.

As someone with friends who have western manners and understands the ways of social etiquette, it's only started to dawn on me that not everyone acts the same way in the same situation. Different cultures emphasize different things. This I've learned from being with someone of a different culture - born and raised differently. I've never really thought of running into problems such as how people should treat you as the new girlfriend, always took it for granted that everyone would act as I would expect. Not the parents since they're from the old country as are mine, but friends and siblings if they had any. I'm running into problems and don't know what to do since all the rules of how to act have been broken in my book. I don't know how I should act! Now how much of this should be reflected upon the person I'm with? It's not his fault, it's not a fault, it's just a matter conflicts between two classes/worlds/ cultures? Not saying that any is better than the other. But how much should I push to make things work when our social circles are completely different; is love the only thing you need; and how much should we worry about these things?

I care and so I work try to make things work. I just hope I'll know the limits when and if I reach them.